Homesick

"We can't always know the mind of God, but we can always know the heart of God."~ Beth Moore

My mind is a little jumbled right now so I apologize if the following does not make sense. The last week or so has been kind of a roller coaster, to use the cliche metaphor. I had been in such a low place for such a long time, feeling lonely and having trouble handling all the change that was going on here and at home. Even when I finally started finding hope, the process was a slow and painful one to find joy again. But in the last week or so, I realized I was finding joy again, the aching and pain were leaving and were being replaced by joy and peace. Our God is faithful. And He really knows what He is doing, and does not test us beyond what we can bear. Because this week has been full of news that had I not refound that joy, might have caused a breakdown. I recently found out that a dear friend has lost someone very close to her. And while I did not know that someone, my heart aches for my friend. And all the thoughts and memories of one of my friends that died almost 3 years ago came rushing back. It's funny how although you never forget, those thoughts and feelings get pushed way back and you go on with life, until something causes them to come screaming back. Then this morning I learned that the mother of one of my Bolivian friends passed away last night after a year-long struggle with cancer. It's been a week to say the least. But while we can't always understand God's plan, we can trust in his goodness, his perfect love, and his perfect will. And all three of these dear women are now experiencing greater joy than we have ever known. And we are left on earth, searching out that joy day to day admist the pain and suffering of a broken world.