My heart is filled by You.
I seek Your joy daily
and I am filled
by Your great love for Your children.
You have taken me from a safe home
and brought me to this foreign place.
You have stayed with me through the dark times
and filled my heart with peace.
You have used me in ways
I could never have imagined.
You have placed magnificent mountains around me
as a reminder of Your majesty.
You have painted sunsets of orange and pink across the sky
as a reminder of Your beauty.
My heart is filled by You
I see Your joy daily.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
a picnic at a glacier
it is incredible how i have lived here in la paz for over 2 years and i can still have days that take my breath away. today was such a day. i was invited to accompany my new zealand friends to the ice caves, and although i had a huge pile of work to do and i had not touched it all weekend, i decided that i needed to get away more than i needed to do work. so i accepted.
i woke up early this morning and bundled up...long underwear and all! we set off on our adventure that began with a 2 hour drive out of the city, in places where the word "road" is used loosely. we finally came to a place where the "road" ended and we all climbed out of the truck. we were greeted by the sight of a sparkling lake in front of a what looked like a snowy mountain, but really it was a glacier. And although this was beautiful, we were actually afraid the ice caves were no more. The snow and ice had receeded a lot since the last time my friends were there, and they were not sure if the ice caves would still exist. for those of you skeptical of global warming, it really is having an effect on our earth, today was proof of that. however, it also was the end of the dry season, so it had not snowed in months. but not willing to admit defeat, the 5 kiwis (including a 3 month old baby) and I set out on a hike to the start of the snow. it took a couple of hours and while not extremely hard, walking even slightly (and at some places, more than slightly) up hill at 15,000 ft can still take your breath away. or leave you "puffed", to use a new term i learned today. the terrain was something right out of lord of the rings. picture the scene where aragorn, legolas, and gimli meet the horsemen of rohan. that is the barren land i walked over today. surrounded by mountains on all sides, i couldn't help but feel i had been transported out of reality and into a magical world where anything could happen. when we finally arrived at the snow, we discovered that while they had shrunk significantly, the ice caves were still there. we hurried to put back on all the layers we had shed during the hike and then sat down to enjoy a small picnic lunch at the foot of the glacier. climbing into the ice caves was another magical experience. looking up, the ceiling of the cave is solid ice, sparkling blue and crystal, with rocks large and small embedded into it. i can't find the words to describe what it is like to be standing under a magnificent glacier, except that it is absolutely incredible. you feel so tiny, so insignificant. the walk back was much easier, being all downhill. and during the ride back i had the joy of holding baby maya in the back of the truck during the rather, shall we say bumpy, ride. she slept most of the way, but everytime we hit an especially big bump she would grab my finger tightly. i was thinking of how i had just witnessed this magnificent glacier, an example of the grandness of god, and here in my arms, i was now holding another example of god's greatness, but this time it came in a much tinier package. if the same god who created that glacier could also create this tiny, perfect baby, then he is more than able to handle all the little problems and troubles that have begun to overwhelm me. so, although i still have piles of work to do and i am exhausted, i needed today. i needed to be reminded that god can take care of my troubles and wants to take care of my troubles, if i will only hand them over to him.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
twila paris and full moons
Has anyone else seen that infomercial for a Christian compilation CD with Twila Paris singing the song, "God is in Control"? That is all of the song I know because that is all that is on the commercial, but since I have heard that phrase a lot in the past week, that one line is always running through my head. Last night, a friend directed me to a youtube video of that song and it was quite.....entertaining. Gotta love cheesy 80's videos. However I still think the overall sentiment expressed by the song is true and something I need to remember. Especially now.
I am at a point where I have no choice but to believe that He is in control and trust Him. There is nothing like the country you live in being on the brink of civil war to make you trust God more than you ever have before. While some might panic and become full of fear at the chaos that has become Bolivia, I have approached it more with the attitude that this will all blow over soon and nothing will ever happen. Based on past experiences this very likely the case. However, at the same time, this time everything seems more real, and I have been fighting little bits of fear here and there. It really has been a very weird time. Everything is very surreal. I spend my days teaching my second graders, going to the grocery store, doing work around my apartment, and all kinds of normal, daily tasks. Yet I also check the news every 20 minutes to see if anything has changed, who has said what, where does Bolivia stand? I feel safe, yet I also am more aware of my blonde hair that immediately identifies me as a gringita.
I have become very impatient with all the uncertainity. Are things going to get better? Are these peace talks going to fix everything? or Are things going to get worse? Will I need to leave Bolivia? I don't want to leave (well, the vacation might be nice, but not under the circumstances that would have to happen to make leaving a reality), but I just want to know! And it's when I get that petulant child's attitude of I JUST WANT TO KNOW that God quietly whispers in my ear: But that is not your place to know, that is my place. Your place is live your life everyday, seeking me, and when the time is right, you will know. And I can only respond by humbly bowing my head and living.
Even in the midst of all the uncertainity, God has been faithful to reveal himself and his joy. One such revelation occured Sunday night, at perhaps the height of the fear. We were on our way to an emergency staff meeting to discuss the political situation, and my roommates and I had arrived at our destination almost 20 minutes early. While we knew we would be welcomed by the family hosting the meeting, we decided to take advantage of the time to sit in the plaza outside their house. The moon was full and HUGE. Being at 12,000 feet really changes how you see the moon and the stars, and the moon that night was incredible. We sat, basking in the moonlight, taking joy in God's awesome creation, and read passages from the Bible. We needed that time to calm ourselves before the Lord, to recognize his power over the whole situation and to remind ourselves of his faithfulness. It was a time of beauty in the midst of fear. For those of you at home reading this, please do not worry about me. God is in control. Things really are seeming to get better here, and my life is still very much normal, with just perhaps a heightened awareness of what is going on around me. Just keep praying for peace.
I am at a point where I have no choice but to believe that He is in control and trust Him. There is nothing like the country you live in being on the brink of civil war to make you trust God more than you ever have before. While some might panic and become full of fear at the chaos that has become Bolivia, I have approached it more with the attitude that this will all blow over soon and nothing will ever happen. Based on past experiences this very likely the case. However, at the same time, this time everything seems more real, and I have been fighting little bits of fear here and there. It really has been a very weird time. Everything is very surreal. I spend my days teaching my second graders, going to the grocery store, doing work around my apartment, and all kinds of normal, daily tasks. Yet I also check the news every 20 minutes to see if anything has changed, who has said what, where does Bolivia stand? I feel safe, yet I also am more aware of my blonde hair that immediately identifies me as a gringita.
I have become very impatient with all the uncertainity. Are things going to get better? Are these peace talks going to fix everything? or Are things going to get worse? Will I need to leave Bolivia? I don't want to leave (well, the vacation might be nice, but not under the circumstances that would have to happen to make leaving a reality), but I just want to know! And it's when I get that petulant child's attitude of I JUST WANT TO KNOW that God quietly whispers in my ear: But that is not your place to know, that is my place. Your place is live your life everyday, seeking me, and when the time is right, you will know. And I can only respond by humbly bowing my head and living.
Even in the midst of all the uncertainity, God has been faithful to reveal himself and his joy. One such revelation occured Sunday night, at perhaps the height of the fear. We were on our way to an emergency staff meeting to discuss the political situation, and my roommates and I had arrived at our destination almost 20 minutes early. While we knew we would be welcomed by the family hosting the meeting, we decided to take advantage of the time to sit in the plaza outside their house. The moon was full and HUGE. Being at 12,000 feet really changes how you see the moon and the stars, and the moon that night was incredible. We sat, basking in the moonlight, taking joy in God's awesome creation, and read passages from the Bible. We needed that time to calm ourselves before the Lord, to recognize his power over the whole situation and to remind ourselves of his faithfulness. It was a time of beauty in the midst of fear. For those of you at home reading this, please do not worry about me. God is in control. Things really are seeming to get better here, and my life is still very much normal, with just perhaps a heightened awareness of what is going on around me. Just keep praying for peace.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
shining like stars and lifting my eyes up to the hills
3:30am....at this hour it is pitch black outside. At this hour Bolivians are still stumbling home from the bars and clubs, after a night of too much indulgence. At this hour most of the city is still asleep. Yet this is the hour I awoke this morning to set off on a mini-adventure. A few of the teachers and I set off with our director for a 2 hour drive outside of the city, hoping to catch the sunrise from the top of a mountain. We had felt the call to escape the confines of the city and surround ourselves with beauty and God.
As we drove along in the pitch black, we were all surprisingly awake. We chatted and got to know our new New Zealand friend, who had just arrived a few days before. At one point, once we were out of view of the city lights we stopped the truck, got out, and looked up. Words cannot describe the blanket of stars that met our eyes. Even in all my trips to the Dominican Republic and time spent laying on the basketball court starting at the stars, I have never seen a sky like this. Perhaps being at 14,000 feet is the difference. I have never in my life seen so many stars, the entire sky was shining and twinkling. It was magical and really brought the verse "shine like the stars in the heavens" from Phillipians to life.
We continued the drive until we arrived at the trailhead. The plan was to just do the upwards climb of the old pre-Colombian Incan trail, stop at the top, soak in the beauty, then head back down and back to the city. But first, we had breakfast at the trailhead. It was icy cold, my hands and toes were quickly numb. Yet the breakfast of scrambled egg and bacon burritos and banana muffins was devine. Honestly, now that I know all the fun equipment that goes with camping, I might be tempted to try it more often.
After our riquisimo breakfast, we began the hour hike up to the top. Now as you know, I am not a hiker, and I am always nervous about hiking up and down places. I like nice, flat walks. However, this one really was not that bad. I took it at my own pace, stopped when I needed a breath (we were climbing up from 14,000ft!), and made it to the top only slightly tired. As I walked, I couldn't help but contemplate how much hiking up mountains is like the Christian life. It's hard, but you know the end is going to be worth it. And to further encourage this metaphor, when you turn the final corner, there sitting perched at the top is a cross, waiting to welcome you to your destination. Really, what more can you ask for?
We sat on the top for a while, soaking in God's incredible creation. Clouds rolling in over the valley below us, covered the jungle we knew was there, but couldn't see. A snow covered mountain was directly to our right, looking close enough that we should be able to reach out and touch the snow. Sitting there above the clouds, someone got out their Bible. We all took turns passing it around, reading different passages that we had been thinking about. This was perhaps my favorite moment. Sitting on top of God's creation, reading His word with fellow kingdom workers.
The hike down, though scary at a few points, was also not too bad and the drive home was amazing. I mean, turning a corner and being face to face with a 24,000 foot snow capped mountain will take your breath away. I spent the ride just thinking how incredible my life was. Our God truly is faithful, and if you seek Him, you will find Him.
As we drove along in the pitch black, we were all surprisingly awake. We chatted and got to know our new New Zealand friend, who had just arrived a few days before. At one point, once we were out of view of the city lights we stopped the truck, got out, and looked up. Words cannot describe the blanket of stars that met our eyes. Even in all my trips to the Dominican Republic and time spent laying on the basketball court starting at the stars, I have never seen a sky like this. Perhaps being at 14,000 feet is the difference. I have never in my life seen so many stars, the entire sky was shining and twinkling. It was magical and really brought the verse "shine like the stars in the heavens" from Phillipians to life.
We continued the drive until we arrived at the trailhead. The plan was to just do the upwards climb of the old pre-Colombian Incan trail, stop at the top, soak in the beauty, then head back down and back to the city. But first, we had breakfast at the trailhead. It was icy cold, my hands and toes were quickly numb. Yet the breakfast of scrambled egg and bacon burritos and banana muffins was devine. Honestly, now that I know all the fun equipment that goes with camping, I might be tempted to try it more often.
After our riquisimo breakfast, we began the hour hike up to the top. Now as you know, I am not a hiker, and I am always nervous about hiking up and down places. I like nice, flat walks. However, this one really was not that bad. I took it at my own pace, stopped when I needed a breath (we were climbing up from 14,000ft!), and made it to the top only slightly tired. As I walked, I couldn't help but contemplate how much hiking up mountains is like the Christian life. It's hard, but you know the end is going to be worth it. And to further encourage this metaphor, when you turn the final corner, there sitting perched at the top is a cross, waiting to welcome you to your destination. Really, what more can you ask for?
We sat on the top for a while, soaking in God's incredible creation. Clouds rolling in over the valley below us, covered the jungle we knew was there, but couldn't see. A snow covered mountain was directly to our right, looking close enough that we should be able to reach out and touch the snow. Sitting there above the clouds, someone got out their Bible. We all took turns passing it around, reading different passages that we had been thinking about. This was perhaps my favorite moment. Sitting on top of God's creation, reading His word with fellow kingdom workers.
The hike down, though scary at a few points, was also not too bad and the drive home was amazing. I mean, turning a corner and being face to face with a 24,000 foot snow capped mountain will take your breath away. I spent the ride just thinking how incredible my life was. Our God truly is faithful, and if you seek Him, you will find Him.
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