musical medicine

i can't tell you how many times in the past few years i have listened to a song and thought, wow! this is the song of my life right now. it perfectly fits whatever situation i am in at the time. sometimes it is a song that i have listened to a thousand times but all of a sudden i get it, i really understand what it means. other times it is a new song from a favorite artist. and other times it is a song being played by someone else that i happen to hear. i have always found such comfort in these songs. i no longer feel alone in whatever i am going through. someone else gets it. someone else understands and has been able to put it into beautiful words.


a favorite memory from bolivia was meeting for staff devotions before school every morning for the first three years. it was a time to stop and be still before the craziness of the school day took over. it was a time for fellowship and reflection. it was during this time that i was introduced to the music of david wilcox.  he writes songs about life and introduces each song with his thoughts and reflections on the many things life throws our way . i remember always connecting to these songs in a deep way.


tonight, sitting around, reminiscing and sharing with friends from those days in bolivia, david wilcox was pulled out yet again, to share his insights on what we were thinking and feeling. and yet again, there was a song that could be on the soundtrack of my life:


It's the choice of a lifetime - I'm almost sure
I will not live my life in between any more
If I can't be certain of all that's in store
This far it feels so right
I will hold it up - hold it up to the light
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light

The search for my future has brought me here
This is more than I'd hoped for, but sometimes I fear
That the choice I was made for will someday appear
And I'll be too late for that flight

It's too late - to be stopped at the crossroads
Each life here - each a possible way
But wait - and they all will be lost roads
Each road's getting shorter the longer I stay

Now as soon as I'm moving - my choice is good
This way comes through right where I prayed that it would
If I keep my eyes open and look where I should
Somehow all of the signs are in sight
If I hold it up to the light

I said God, will you bless this decision
I'm so scared.  Is my life at stake
But I see if you gave me a vision
Would I ever have reason to use my faith?

I was dead with deciding - I was afraid to choose
I was mourning the loss of the choices I'd lose
But there's no choice at all if I don't make my move
And trust that the timing is right
Yes and hold it up to the light


and the best part: his website has a section called musical medicine, where he takes his songs and divides them according to topic. if you feel this way, listen to this song.  it makes finding the perfect "song of my life (at least for this week)" just a little bit easier. :)
http://davidwilcox.com/index.php?page=cds&category=01--MUSICAL_MEDICINE

waiting...

i've now been home over a month. i've spent time with my adorable little niece. i've cherished the last week with sarah, my friend and roommate from bolivia. i've seen almost every single member of my family, both sides (all 50-some of them). i've attended two weddings. i've watched 21 movies and countless episodes of gilmore girls. i've read 10 books. and i've applied to schools in denver, cincinnati, virginia, and north carolina. and i still don't have a job. i still haven't heard anything at all back from anyone i have contacted or applied to. and while i could easily panic...and often come close...i also continue to rest in that peace that passes understanding.

it's hard to think of much to write. i am just waiting. yet while i wait, i plan to continue to live and enjoy each moment, no matter how small.

Wait for the LORD; 

       be strong and take heart 

       and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:14