and in his name all oppression shall cease

i remember filling shoeboxes as a child for samaritan's purse operation christmas child and knowing that these boxes would be delivered to children in need in a far away country.

today, i was able to deliver those shoeboxes to children i love in the country that has become my home.  it was an amazing experience. a bolivian youth group joined us and led the children in songs and games, performed a drama, and shared  the gospel before handing out the boxes. after handing out the boxes we sat in a circle and all the children opened them together. it was so fun to watch the little ones get so excited about the stickers, barbies, toy cars, and other fun things that filled their boxes. while helping little tatiana open and look through her box, i was just filled with thoughts of the people who filled these boxes and how lucky i was to get to see the joy on the other end. it was just a special time. joy filled the air and the magic of christmas was happening before my eyes.

then it all came crashing down. fourteen-year old wara stood crying admist the joy and happiness. my roommate was hugging her, but couldn't understand what was wrong. i went over and just held her in my arms. finally, when she calmed down, i was able to ask what was wrong. and then she told me something that broke my heart into a million little pieces. her mom has left and she isn't coming back. wara has one older sister, fifteen-year old pamela, and four younger siblings ages 1-5. pamela and wara already basically act like the mothers of the younger ones, but now they have no one to mother them. i just don't understand. these kids already have next to nothing, and now the one thing they did have, family, has been ripped apart. and what can i do? not much. i can bring them food. i can pray. but i want to do more. i want to take these kids and give them all the love and care they deserve. they are such sweet, special children who are victims of a cruel and fallen world. it seems so easy to trust god with my own life in comparison to trusting him with the lives of these kids. but that is all i can do. trust that he has them in his hands and he will guard them and protect them. and thank him that even in the midst of this pain, we can still celebrate the sending of his son that made it possible for us to someday to live in a world without tears, pain, or broken hearts.

Truly He taught us to love one another,

His law is love and His gospel is peace.

Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.

And in his name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

With all our hearts we praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,

His power and glory ever more proclaim!

His power and glory ever more proclaim!

the harder of the two ways

"Choose the harder of the two ways. If you have eliminated all other possibilities and there still seem to be two that might please God, choose the most difficult one. 'The way is hard, that leads to life,' Jesus said, so it is likely that he is asking us to will against our will. But what if he isn't asking that? The more sincerely we seek the will of God, the more fearful we will be that we may miss it. If it made little difference to us, obviously we would not worry very much about it, so there ought to be a measure of reassurance for us in the very face of our fear...'And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.' "
~Elisabeth Ellliot
God's Guidance

finally...peace

it's interesting how difficult decisions can seem, then you make them and those people who made it seem so easy were right. it wasn't that hard. you knew what God was calling you to do, it just took courage to make that decision. i can now see how i have spent the last 4 months arguing with God, knowing what he wanted, but still wanting my own way. thankfully, he also puts many people in our lives who speak truth and at some point you have to listen to that truth and it all comes together.

so i have made my decision for next year. it's still new and still hard to say. however i have peace. i will be leaving bolivia in june. i will miss it terribly and the thought of leaving the many, many children and people here who have become my family over the last four years makes me want to cry. yet, i know it is time for something new. a new adventure and a new challenge.

i have no idea what the future holds. i have begun to look into different options, but at the moment i am completely open for whatever doors the Lord opens. while scary, it is also exciting to be embarking on a new chapter of my life. and i still have 6 months to enjoy the country and people i have grown to love over the last 4 years!