Service

Bear with me. This is something I have been thinking a lot about lately, and have finally decided to try and put it into words. However, I cannot promise that these thoughts will be completely comprehensible as I am still mulling them over as I seek to live authentically as a Christ-follower.


Service....serving others...came so easily in Bolivia. Opportunities abounded to help those in need. From the river kids to the beggars on the side of the street to the families of the students at my school, I was able to serve in real, authentic ways. I was able to build relationships through service and I was able to fulfill true needs. 


Since moving back to the States I have not found a service "niche" and I am feeling the loss of that aspect of my life. I miss feeling like I am making a difference. Maybe this is selfish, but I do believe that when we serve the Lord uses that service to sanctify us and draw us closer to him. In some ways, we get more out of that service than the people who are being served as we are being transformed to be more and more like Christ. 


For the last two years I think I have avoided finding ways to serve by telling myself that my job teaching first grade in a tough urban school district was service enough. And while I do view teaching as a calling and I know that I am making a difference in the lives of students, I also don't think service is something that can be fit into a 9-5 work day (or rather a 7:00- 5:00 or 6:00 work day). Service must leave room for spontaneity, for sacrifice. Service is seeing a need and filling it, whether or not it fits neatly into our daily schedule. Actually, I think we are wrong to separate service and set it aside as a separate part of our life, like saying "we do service once a month, or week, or every other Tuesday" It should be such an integral part of our life that it just springs out at all times. We should approach every encounter as an opportunity for service and serve anyone with whom we come into contact. 


This is not to say there is no room for special service projects. There is nothing wrong with planning special events to serve. In fact those can be very good if they fill true needs and lead to relationships that bring people closer to the Lord. But those alone are not enough. If we relegate service to something that happens between 6-8 one night a month, then we are missing out.  It needs to be more. It needs to be a way of life. Something we dive into and let God lead the way.


So as I seek to live a more serving-ful (yes, I made up that word!) life, I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes by Frederick Buechner "The place God calls you to, is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."  My prayer is that I can find that place and serve there with every waking breath.

The Race

My small group has begun a new book study on the book Adventures in Missing the Point, co-authored by Tony Campolo and Brian McLaren. Although we are only on chapter two, I am already enjoying this book more than I expected to.  It is a clear, concise look at areas in which we as Christians might be missing the point.  Neither author claims to have all the answers, but rather consistently brings us back to biblical truth. The first chapter was about Salvation. In the time of Jesus, the Jews missed the point of salvation because they were focused on an immediate rescue from political oppression. However, in today's world we often miss the point of salvation because we focus solely on salvation as a ticket to heaven, rather than as an immediate rescue to a new life in the immediate kingdom.

Brian McLaren illustrated this point with what he called "The Parable of the Race". It was such a clear illustration of what the Christian life often is as opposed to what it could be. In the parable, a race is advertised to help the people escape the drudgery and boredom of their lives. It is promised that everyone who starts the race will receive a great reward. On race day, several people line up at the starting line eager to begin. Others are skeptical and stand on the sidelines, waiting to see what happens. When the race begins those at the starting line take a few steps and then begin celebrating! They have started the race! They fall on their knees in gratitude. Those on the sidelines watch, confused. Finally a few decide that if no one else is going to actually run the race, then they will and so they begin running. They realize that the reward is the opportunity to run the race itself, for the race never ends and it takes them on the greatest adventure.

How many Christians do you know that have received salvation and for them, that is the end? They celebrate their rescue from hell, but never pursue the kingdom.  It is my prayer that I will never be like those people who celebrate starting the race, but rather that I will continue running all of my days. For that will be the greatest adventure...

Though the Storm May Last Through the Night...

After two years back in the States and most of that time spent in the city, I finally had a chance to get away and back into nature. The past couple days a dear friend from Bolivia and I spent some time at Cumberland Falls State Park, camping and hiking. We both have felt the pressures of jobs that are not perfect, and have felt a tug at our hearts for something new. We both have strong desires to find a way to minster to disadvantaged children, but are at a loss to know exactly how this will look or where we should be. We have lots of ideas and dreams, but none that seem to lead to anything concrete at the moment. We went on this trip to seek God's will and to hopefully find some direction.

When we arrived at the campsite it was pouring rain, which was an ominous start to the adventure. It let up after a while and we were able to set up camp under blue skies. However, as we began to start our fire for dinner, another storm rolled in and we were spent the rest of the night in the tent eating sandwiches and cold s'mores (basically just marshmallows and chocolate!) and talking. While it was disappointing to not get to spend the evening out under the stars, it was still amazing to watch the lightening over the valley and to feel the rumbles of thunder that shook the tent. We even got to see an incredible sunset in the midst of the storm.

We woke up to the sun shining and beautiful blue skies. We spent a lovely morning hiking along the river and then just spent time reading and praying and soaking in the beauty of nature. And while no answers were given and no clear direction was set, I felt at peace for the first time in a while.  I know when the time comes, I will be ready to take action. I know that the Lord is still present with me and directing my path. His timing is perfect, even if it doesn't match mine. And if the same God who controls the lightening and thunder is controlling my future, who am I to worry? It might not be the answer I was looking for, but it is sufficient. And while I was hoping to come back from this trip with a clear direction for my future and an exact plan to follow,    I am satisfied with the rest and peace I find in Christ.

6 Impossible Things

Last weekend as I watched the new Alice in Wonderland movie for the umpteenth time, I began to wonder why the story of Alice has always been a favorite of mine. It is such a strange story, but I love it. When I was 6, I had a storybook party for my birthday and I was Alice.  On sick days as a child, I wore out the VHS with the recorded-from-TV real life movie version. I own several editions of the book, including a facsimile of the original text written in Lewis Carroll's handwriting.  As I reflected on what about this story resonated with me over the years, I realized that it was the adventures in a world where the impossible was possible. Alice stumbles through this world, not quite sure what is real and what is a dream, but she journeys on and through each adventure she finds her "muchness".

And isn't that how we live life? Not sure what we are doing, or where we are going, but dreaming big and hoping that if we just keep moving, maybe we will find our dreams are real? It's how I seem to live, at least. I have big dreams, and look forward to big adventures. I don't know where they are or what they will look like, but I stumble through hoping to find them along the way. And sometimes on this journey, the impossible seems to happen, because that word is not in the vocabulary of the Author of my story.  After this week, with the future more uncertain than ever, I needed that reminder. Impossible is not a part of my story. My story is bigger than budget cuts and a possible pink slip. In fact those things others see as tragedies, can be the catalyst for an even bigger adventure. So I stumble on....

Love Cost Everything

A few weeks ago I was inspired to start this blog up again. I missed writing and a friend encouraged me to go back to blogging. And so I did (see post below). But I did not advertise the new beginning, because I was still not sure how long I would stick with it. So instead I waited for inspiration to strike again, and then it did last night.

Last night, I was fortunate enough to be able to attend the Love Cost Everything simulcast at my church. This documentary was put together by CIY and Voice of the Martyrs and portrayed the persecuted church around the world. It was heart-wrenching, eye-opening, and above all one of the most challenging things I have seen in a long time.

I was struck by the steadfastness and joy that these people displayed. I couldn't help but wonder, would I do the same if my life and my family were in danger? How easily I get upset about the silly little problems that crop up in my life. What must it be like to face danger every time you walk out of your house? I don't think the point of the documentary was to minimize our own problems, though. Sure, let's put them in perspective, but we all face our own set of struggles. But how do we face them? Do we face them with joy or sorrow? With praise or complaints? Are we looking ahead to eternity or are we stuck in the grim present?

I was also amazed by the final plea made by the people who face persecution daily. "Do not pray for the persecution to end. Pray we will have strength to face it and that God will be glorified through it." Wow. Do I have the courage to pray to share in Christ's sufferings? I don't know. I would like to say yes, of course, but I don't know if I am there yet.

There is so much more I could say, so many stories to share, but really you should just watch the movie for yourself and then process through the challenges it presents. If you live in Cincinnati, it is showing again at Parkside this Sunday at 7pm. If you live elsewhere, look it up to see if it playing somewhere near you. It is definitely worth 2 hours of your time.

Steps of Grace

After several long months, I have decided to return to my blog.  It is an idea I have been playing around with for a while now. I do enjoy writing and have missed the creative outlet. However, I have struggled to find a cohesive idea for my writing. Before it was simple, I simply recorded the adventures of living in Bolivia. Nowadays,  life does not seem so interesting. Does anyone really care about the daily thoughts and ponderings of a first grade teacher in an urban school in the middle of the United States? Do I have anything to offer anymore? I realize that these questions that have plagued me for months are actually rooted in the deep dissatisfaction I find in life these days. From the glamour of overseas living to the dull daily routine of a young single public school teacher living at home, my life has drastically changed. Yet what I have begun to realize is that while outwardly my life has changed, I have not. I am still that same person who climbed mountains in Bolivia and played with the River kids. I still have a desire to touch the hearts of children for eternity. I still love travelling and adventures. I still hate injustice and desire to right the many wrongs in the world. I still have big dreams, and best of all I have a big God who turns our dreams into an even greater reality.   Right now I am being asked to wait and to grow and to seek Him. I know something more will come, but now I am being asked to find contentment in less.

As I pondered this new beginning to my blog, I wondered about a name change.  However, I think the name Steps of Grace is even more appropriate now than ever. The name comes from the worship dance troupe that  I was a part of in college. However, the truth it proclaims is one that transcends dance. Every morning I wake up and take a step out of bed, it is because of the grace of God. His grace allows me to live the life I desire and gives me the desire to live the life He wills. And that is what this blog will become, a place to record these steps, big or small, that will become a part of the life He has called me to.