it's been a strange transition back to bolivia. i am home, yet homesick for the "old" bolivia with all my dear friends who have left. it's been hard. however, God is good and today was full of those precious moments that remind me of my love for this place. being back in my bolivian church, singing the familiar spanish worship songs, just felt right, i was at peace.
i came back to bolivia this year refreshed and with a renewed fire to invest in the lives of those living in poverty with whom i often come in contact. and after spending a beautiful two hours at the river with some of the most amazing kids i know, my heart is so full, and yet so broken. i spent most of my time, laughing and talking with the 15-16 year old girls whom i have spent the last 3 years falling more in love with every week. they have always been obsessed with my hair, lovingly brushing it and stroking it, asking me why i am not a model (i usually just say, "because i am a teacher":) ), but today they kept asking me what shampoo i use and how much it cost, because they wanted to make their hair smooth like mine. and i couldn't respond. how could i tell them i spend more on a bottle of shampoo than their family probably does on a whole day's worth of food? instead, i just promised to bring each of them a bottle...because what 15 year old girl doesn't deserve to pamper herself a little?
however, the whole time i was laughing with these girls, inside i was breaking and the tears were threatening. because one of these beautiful girls, 16 year old Erika, had been mysteriously absent the whole last semester, and today had shown up with a new little baby boy on her back. her son. i don't know what happened, and she seemed embarassed, so i didn't ask, but my mind just ran through all the scenarios, wondering if she had been "married" off by her family, or if she had fallen for some boy somewhere, or if this baby was the result of some awful abuse. all i knew was this lovely girl should not have been a mother yet. i held the tiny baby for a while so she could do the sunday school activity with everyone else, and she and some of the other girls joked about him being my baby. and with all my heart i wished i could have taken him from her and given her the chance at a least a semi-normal childhood, without the burden of motherhood. but alas, that is not my place. so instead, i will love this girl and her little boy with all my heart and do anything i can to make her life easier. i don't know yet what this will be, but i am praying for God to open my eyes to opportunities to show His love to her and to give me the courage to follow through. because how many times do we feel that nudge, but let the doubts and worries of what others will think or how much it will cost keep us from acting on it? i know for me it happens all too often that i ignore that quiet whisper. and therefore my prayer this year is that i will act whenever or wherever the opportunity arises.
"we can do no great things, only small things with great love." ~mother theresa
No comments:
Post a Comment