your sunny someday will come one day...

may. the month i have looking forward to all year. may meant accreditation would be done. may meant i could just teach my kids without worrying about all the extra work. may meant i was one month closer to going home for a much needed break after this incredibly tough year. of course now may is here and i am realizing may also means preparing for end of the year elementary awards, going to a million families' houses for end of the year almuerzos and cenas, making sure my growing second graders are really ready for third grade, saying goodbye to some of my best friends here in bolivia, and finally, this may has also brought a sprained ankle, making just the act of getting out of bed in the morning a laborious chore. but i am realizing that always looking ahead for sunny somedays only causes you to miss out on the silver linings of the rain clouds of the present. when the bible says not to worry about tomorrow, it is not saying don't just worry about the bad things that might happen tomorrow, but don't even look forward to the good that may come....just don't worry about it at all. we can't live our lives looking ahead. if we do, we will miss so much. so rather than looking ahead to june, when i will be back with friends and family in the states, i want to spend may living each day, looking for joy each day, and recognizing my many blessings, for they are numerous.

and to begin this new challenge of being present every day and not looking ahead, i want to take a minute to write a list of things that have brought me joy the past few days:

* cold wintery mornings....i might complain about the cold, but really there is nothing like bundling up in winter sweaters, scarves, hats, and gloves, and feeling the icy wind on your cheeks. there is something just so cozy and comfy about winter...even when it comes in may!
*my amazing roommates of past and present...god has been amazing and it seems i am always able to find kindred spirits in the girls i live with. from college to now, i couldn't ask for better roommates, who become more than just friends, but family as well.
*the funny things my kids say and do....from asking if they should "multiplicate" to breakdancing to bringing their knitting to recess, my kids are a constant source of joy.
*being able to follow and participate in spanish conversations
*the amazing mountains that surround me and the beautiful sunrises and sunsets...yes i see both almost every day!
*emails and im conversations with friends back home
*chicken korma from my favorite british-indian curry restaurant
*watching friends and gilmore girls....and having a roommate who is sweet enough to always let us use her computer now that mine is broken
*gianduia ice cream from the gelaterria down the street


and the list goes on and on......how blessed i am!

almost there

we are in the final days of accreditation preparations. the team arrives sunday that will decide whether or not our school becomes accredited. it is a stressful time for most. but as i sit here, a little over a week away from having all the work pay off (hopefully!), i can't help but reflect on what a process this has been. it all began two years ago, second semester of my first year here. at that time, while still daunting, the majority of the work seemed so far removed, that i was only excited about it. i was naive. we began by completing a quick self-reflection to see what standards we were meeting and which ones we needed to work on. we also began curriculum guides. until then, the school had been using an awful christian home-schooling curriculum and so we had to rewrite the curriculum from scratch. we created our schoolwide expected student learning results, had our team leader visit to get us started, and that was pretty much it. last year consisted mostly of writing philosophies for every subject and continuing to work on curriculum guides. at the very end of last year we received what would become our all-consuming work for this year: the dreaded self-study document.


basically the self-study breaks the school into 10 different parts, such as instructional program, library and media resources, school personnel, school facilities, etc. there are several standards our school must meet in every area, as well as a series of questions that we must answer about our school. in order to answer these questions we must take a close look at our school and identify and evaluate our current practices in each area. after working on committees to research and answer the questions, the steering committee (of which i was a part) had to read and revise the entire document. this took place in 4 meetings over 4 school days, totaling about 24 hours in all. the document then went to the rest of the staff, to parents, and to the director's advisory council for approval. final changes were made and it was sent off to the team to read before their visit. the total number of pages of our document was well over 300, including data.


we then began to collect all the data that must supplied to the team while they are here. for me, this meant collecting samples of student work for every subject and at every grade level and setting up displays in the room where the team will be meeting. i also had to put together all the library data, which meant creating most of it, since our library is relatively new and we did not have most of what is required. for the past two weeks, i have stayed at school until 6:00 or 6:30 almost every day, working on putting all this data together. that might not seem like too late, but when you get to school at 7:00 in the morning and teach all day, and are technically allowed to leave at 3:45...staying almost 3 hours later is a big deal. not to mention that during this entire process we have all also been teaching full time and having to prepare for lessons. most nights i go home and work until 9:30 or 10:00, if not later, to make sure i am ready for those 15 little second graders that come into my class every day eager to learn.

now, i do not rattle off this list to complain or to get sympathy, but rather to bring glory to our heavenly father. looking back and seeing how far our little school has come in the three years that i have been here is a true testament to his faithfulness. not only has he doubled the size of our student population and provided the means to purchase much needed resources, materials, as well as the land the school sits on, he has proven his faithfulness to each of us on a personal level by providing the strength, energy, and determination to get all of this done. personally, i hit a wall in march. i was done. i didn't even want to get out of bed in the mornings. and i gave up. i finally told the Lord, "whatever gets done now is absolutely not from me, but from you, and you will get the credit." and it has gotten done. there are still a few loose ends to tie up, a few more posters to hang, a few more documents to type and print, a few more shelves to clean. but it's going to get done. and not because of me or anything i am doing.

not only has he given strength when it was needed, he has also given us the gift of beauty and majesty with the amazing sunsets that those of us who have being staying late have been privileged to witness. every night when i step out of my classroom or the library or the teachers' room, i am greeted with some of the most amazing sights i have ever seen. and although i know they are not just for me, i see each one a personal gift from my daddy in heaven, to encourage and inspire me to keep pushing on:



now i am not a photographer by any means, and these pictures don't even come close to capturing the magic that seems to creep up on the school each evening. however, i try my best to capture the beauty, in order to remind myself, that the God that designed this, the God that has created those mountains and that sky, is the same God who knows the number of hairs on my head, and desires nothing more than for me to crawl into his lap, call him Abba Father, and allow him to complete his work in me and through me. and that is surely a thing to rejoice in, no matter what stress and trials are in my life.

alone on my own

spring break. usually i spend spring break traveling to amazing places.....the salt flats, lima. this year i was supposed to go to sucre with the high school mission trip. i was excited to see a new place, to spend time with the high schoolers, and to spend the week in ministry. however, at the last minute the trip was cancelled. i was incredibly disappointed and didn't understand how god could allow just one more disappointment in a semester full of them. i dreaded a week in la paz, a week alone in my apartment, with everyone else going off to places i had already seen. however, his plans are higher than ours, and this week has turned into an amazing time of refreshment. i have spent time with the few friends left here, but also i have had a lot of alone time. i have always been someone who needs alone time, yet lately i think i have been dreading it because being alone forces me to confront and deal with the many issues and troubles that are in my life, rather than ignore them as i have gotten so good at doing. but really, when i stop and look at my life, yes it is hard, but it really isn't that bad. i have amazing friends, a job i love, and many adventures right outside my door. being able to just spend a week in la paz without all the stress of teaching, has helped me to see that this place is home. when i look out my window, i am not looking at some strange land...i am looking at the comforts of home.

i am lucky to have two homes and although i am eager to visit my other home in the states, i can feel at home here and don't need to wish away the next 2 months.

random side note: i have recently become obsessed with rosie thomas and this has become my favorite song of the week:

Death Came and Got Me

I can't, I can't stop crying

Everyday I’m so afraid

Afraid of dying

Death already came and got me

Cause I’m not living...

I'm not living anyway...

And who am I supposed to be?

Everybody seems to see except for me

Who cares anyway....

Cause when it's over,

It's all over, and what you gain you throw away

When will love ever find me?

All my life all I’ve craved is to be seen

Who cares anyway...

Cause when it's over,

All that matters is the love you gave away

sunday afternoon

a bit of wisdom from the emerald isle

Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me; Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in quiet, Christ in danger, Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

- From St. Patrick's Breastplate

tatiana

two years ago, i went to the river for the very first time. it was a sunday afternoon in october, and my friend who was supposed to go with me had had to leave the country suddenly because her visa had expired (by leave, i mean cross the border to peru and come immiediately back). so i waited for over an hour alone on the corner of the street in a neighborhood i had never been to before, not exactly sure who i was supposed to be meeting. this was before i really understood the flexibility of bolivian time. the lady who runs the ministry finally arrived and she showed me the path up the hill to the "church". i spent that first sunday sitting in the little building watching her try to teach sunday school to a roomful of rambunctious children. about half way through i picked up a little 2 year old girl who had been crying and rocked her to sleep. i was slightly overwhelmed by all the children and the chaos, but holding that sleeping child gave me a sense of purpose.

last year tatiana had lice and they shaved her head :(

this past sunday, two and half years later, that same little girl, tatiana, now four, came running out to meet me and my roommates as we started to climb the mountain to get to the church. the nice, easy path is no longer there, and every sunday i look my fear of heights in the face as i climb the path that is slowly wearing away. this sunday had a little added excitement as the mean dogs started fighting with the nice, protective dogs and they all came running down the path towards us! and although every week i want to say that i can't do it, i can't go up the steep side of the mountain, the fact that tatiana is there holding my hand gives me the courage to keep going. because she is relying on me, she doesn't know that i am terrified of heights, she only knows that i am bigger, stronger and able to help her tiny legs get up the mountain.

once up the mountain, and safe from the dogs, we all piled into the tiny brick building. this particular sunday, sarah was helping some of the older girls with their math homework (teaching bolivian math in spanish!), jenny was practicing english and reading with a couple of other girls, another girl was laying on the floor reading a book of bible stories, and the boys were playing with a little foosball table (go figure). and i was sitting in the back, once again holding tatiana, practicing different flash cards. we had been practicing number flash cards for a couple of months now and it was on this day that i realized, i have taught tatiana how to count! when we first started, she would yell out random numbers, and even when i would point to each object and count up to the last one, she almost never knew what number came next. however, this past sunday she was the one pointing to the objects and counting in the correct order! sometimes, when the numbers got bigger, she would still need my help, but she would put her finger on top of my finger as i counted and she could always say what came next. and i can't really put my finger on why, but for some reason, teaching this little girl to count has meant more to me than the many things i teach to my second graders every day.

new obsession

this past week was a work week for us teachers to get ready for accreditation. a few of us took advantage of getting to sleep in a little to have our own little alfred hitchcock film festival. it was amazing. that man was a genius! after each movie, however, we felt the need to lighten the mood a little and therefore turned to b-boys, otherwise known as breakdancers. there is this incredible documentary about 4 b-boy crews from around the world called Planet B-Boy. we would watch a little bit each night, awestruck by the feats these guys can perform. here is the first place team from korea, and perhaps the most incredible routine ever:



if you like this, check out the other crews on youtube! Igicheki from Japan is amazing too! and Phase-T from France has the cutest little kid on the crew, who is also incredible! there is now a little part of me that wishes that i could do this!