alone on my own

spring break. usually i spend spring break traveling to amazing places.....the salt flats, lima. this year i was supposed to go to sucre with the high school mission trip. i was excited to see a new place, to spend time with the high schoolers, and to spend the week in ministry. however, at the last minute the trip was cancelled. i was incredibly disappointed and didn't understand how god could allow just one more disappointment in a semester full of them. i dreaded a week in la paz, a week alone in my apartment, with everyone else going off to places i had already seen. however, his plans are higher than ours, and this week has turned into an amazing time of refreshment. i have spent time with the few friends left here, but also i have had a lot of alone time. i have always been someone who needs alone time, yet lately i think i have been dreading it because being alone forces me to confront and deal with the many issues and troubles that are in my life, rather than ignore them as i have gotten so good at doing. but really, when i stop and look at my life, yes it is hard, but it really isn't that bad. i have amazing friends, a job i love, and many adventures right outside my door. being able to just spend a week in la paz without all the stress of teaching, has helped me to see that this place is home. when i look out my window, i am not looking at some strange land...i am looking at the comforts of home.

i am lucky to have two homes and although i am eager to visit my other home in the states, i can feel at home here and don't need to wish away the next 2 months.

random side note: i have recently become obsessed with rosie thomas and this has become my favorite song of the week:

Death Came and Got Me

I can't, I can't stop crying

Everyday I’m so afraid

Afraid of dying

Death already came and got me

Cause I’m not living...

I'm not living anyway...

And who am I supposed to be?

Everybody seems to see except for me

Who cares anyway....

Cause when it's over,

It's all over, and what you gain you throw away

When will love ever find me?

All my life all I’ve craved is to be seen

Who cares anyway...

Cause when it's over,

All that matters is the love you gave away