one month.

one month.

that is all i have left in this amazing city that i love so much. last saturday my roommate and i ventured up to the city to enjoy breakfast at my favorite place in the world, followed by shopping for material for costumes for my little dance girls. while riding in the bus between the cafe and the cloth market, i just gazed out the window, soaking in the sights of the cholitas selling their goods, the children running around, and just the daily doings of people. walking around the market, i realized that i won't be able to shop like this much longer. soon i will be stuck indoors in a store with the wares all nicely arranged on shelves. ugh. the thought makes me sick to my stomach. how can i trade my simple, adventurous life for life in the states?

then this week i was offered a chance to stay. it is tempting. staying means i can quit the horrid job search process. staying means i don't have to say goodbye. staying means i don't have to worry about the details of living in the states that i have avoided for the last four years. staying means i would have a plan. staying would be so easy.

but would i be happy? would i be in the lord's will? would i be able to live life to the fullest? staying also means dealing with people that i would rather not deal with. staying means trading in my classroom for an office. staying means another year of feeling stuck and bored. staying means dealing with more changes that are not always positive. staying means i might be missing out on a whole new adventure.

choosing the harder of two paths is definitely not easy. but i trust that it will be rewarding. and i know god will use me wherever he puts me. the only place i want to be is the place where he wants me. and someday, i will know where that is.